Don't Go
by rottenpaperclipwrites
Summary: Short one shot I wrote in between writing my main fic. Its about love, and realising your love for someone when you are extremely close to losing them.
1. Chapter 1

He wasn't supposed to be there. This wasn't supposed to happen. He would be okay if he had only listened. If, for once, he didn't insist on being on the front line. If he had just stayed safely behind closed doors.

Jay tightened his hands around the steering wheel, his knuckles bone - white.

He sped through every red light, not in the least caring how many traffic laws he was breaking. In the end, what did it matter? What did it matter if he was not okay? What did anything matter if he was not okay?

He raced into the lot of Chicago Med, parking his car haphazardly. Blood pumping through his veins, heart racing as he ran. He stopped at the information desk, the words escaping from his mouth. The words of the receptionist a hollow echo reaching him from far away. The only clear words from everything she said were the directions to his room. He turned around with the murmuring, "Thank you," almost as an after thought. He ran as fast as his legs could carry him, almost pass the door of the room he was looking for.

Stopping just outside to catch his breath. Calming himself down as to not worry the person on the other side. Timidly, he opened the door and stepped through. His heart lurching as his eyes fell upon the person laying peacefully in the hospital bed.

He collapsed into the chair beside their bed, grabbing their hand as he intimately whispered, just loud enough for them two to hear,"Mouse."

Mouse's eyes fluttered open, a smile playing with his delicate features. The colour was drained from his skin, leaving him pale - paler than usual. Drips ran in and out of his porcelain skin.

"Hey," he said, his voice hoarse. He winced, his face scrunching up as if speaking brought him pain. Curling his fingers tighter around Jay's hand, he gripped firmly.

Jay smiled down at him, tears that he had been holding in began falling down his cheeks, dripping on to the sheet.

"Shut up, don't say another word until I'm done. What were you thinking?"

Furiously he wiped the tears from his eyes, removing his hand from Mouse's. The worry overcame him, boiled over.

"Seriously, Mouse, what were you thinking? Were you even thinking thinking at all. You could have been killed."

Mouse looked at him, smilingly, Jay's outburst seemingly having no effect on him.

"I could have been, but I wasn't. It's not even that deep of a wound, Jay. You worry too much."

"' i worry too much. ' Mouse, are you even hearing yourself?" the words fading, lost in his throat as he choked on them, hot and burning tears beginning to fall. "You could have been killed. Mouse, I could have lost you. I almost did."

He leaned in towards Mouse, kissing him slowly and gently. Pulling away, resting his head on the bed. Their fingers finding each another again, intertwining. Their breathing in sync.

They sat in a comfortable silence, their love enveloping them in a kind of blanket, blocking the rest of the world out.

Mouse turned his face towards Jay, licking his dry and cracked lips, the sound of his voice only slightly altering the emotional silence between them.

"Why did we end this? I don't even remember anymore," he smiled, taking a breath and swallowing deeply. "Whatever it was, I don't care. I'm moving back in."

Their eyes met over the short distance between them. Smiles turning into sweet, beautiful laughter. Words not needed, never needed when it came to them.

"Of cause you're moving back in. You'll need someone to look after you, won't you?"

"Nurse Jay? I think I could get used to that."


	2. Chapter 2

"Take a seat," Mouse said, straining his body trying to shift over on the sofa. His face screwed up, creasing in folds.

"Hey, stop that. You're going to pop your stitches and bleed over everything." Jay was by his side, his hand on his shoulder, gently placing him back into his original position.

"You know what was my favourite part about that statement?" He said this while pointedly looking at Jay, making his voice as monotonous as he could manage. "How much you so _obviously_ love and care for me - it's jus so heart warming."

"Yeah, well, whatever. It's a really nice sofa." Jay laughed as he carefully moved aside Mouse's legs and sat down down, placing them down across his lap. He ran his hand up and down the left calf. Tickling Mouse as his fingers tangled in the hair. Jay focused on trying to get the other man to laugh, strongly resisting the urge to squeeze in beside him. Wanting to just lay with him, their warm bodies close together - feeding off each other's heat. He stopped himself, knowing that it would cause him unnecessary pain.

"Jay?" Mouse's voice broke through his reverie. "Thanks, you know, for looking after me."

"Mouse-"

"Okay, shut up. Let me finish speaking first.

You're going to say that I shouldn't thank you, and it's not a problem, or whatever. But I'm going to thank you anyway, because this really means a lot to me."

"Mouse-"

"Jay-" he began, having no choice but to stop once a hand came down on his face, clamping his mouth shut.

"Seriously? That was getting irritating." Jay looked at Mouse mock sternly. "Now, I'm removing my hand but only if you be quiet and let me speak. Okay? Okay. Firstly, you have got to stop thanking me. You're welcome and everything, but it's _done_ now. Secondly, it really is not a problem - the furthest thing from a problem in fact. Think about it. All this time alone together. I have you all to myself."

Mouse laughed, a heavenly sound that filled the world with light. A smile brightened up his entire face.

Once again Jay had to resist the powerful and ever growing urge to lay down in the tiny space beside him. To bury his face in the hollow of Mouse's neck, engulfing himself in his scent.

Mouse stared up at the ceiling, absentmindedly playing with a loose thread on his T-shirt. Twirling his fingers through and around the cotton, gently tugging at it. The look in his eyes were distant as they glazed over. Jay observed him as he lay, needing to know the every workings of his mind. Needing to know every thought that passed through his mind; every thought that ever had. He wanted to take Mouse's hand away from toying with the cotton, but knew better than to disturb him. Besides, he looked so beautiful when he was deep in thought.

"Jay," Mouse spoke to the space somewhere beyond Jay's shoulder. "About what happened - You have every right to be mad at me. Don't object, you do. You _warned_ me, Jay. And yet I still went ahead, anyway. I couldn't see all those kids being put through that: couldn't see all those kids suffer with those drugs. I had to do something - _anything."_

Jay looked searchingly at Mouse's face, even as he refused to meet his eyes. Mouse's 'something' had done the department a world of good. They were all eternally grateful.

A tear rolled down the injured man's cheek leaving behind a perfect streak to mark his skin. Jay did not hesitate to wipe it away, cupping Mouse's cheek with his hand. When he spoke his voice was low; husky and endearing.

"I'm not mad at you, Mouse. You're a complete idiot, but you did good - I can't be mad at you. I'm mad at myself - I should have been there, I should have stopped this."

Mouse had reached up while Jay had been speaking, holding onto the hand that Jay had rested against his cheek, lacing their fingers together.

The look in Mouse's eyes was indescribable as he spoke so softly Jay may have missed it if he had not been listening so intently, "You saved me."

The words escaped his mouth and all Jay wanted was an explanation. Their eyes met, staring into each other's souls. Trying to find the secrets to eternity.

"The sound of the gunshot came first, then the shear tearing pain of the bullet entering my abdomen … I was _so_ sure, in that moment, that I was going to die … They say that your whole life flashes before your eyes, and in a way my whole life did. It wasn't all the moments that I had expected, but they were all the ones that mattered … _It was you._ Every single one - _you._ Our first meeting, our first kiss, our first _time,_ anniversaries and hours spent doing nothing. Your eyes, your smile, your laugh. You were my life flashing before my eyes, and then you were there. Standing right beside me, laughing, saying, ' Not now Mouse. Not now. Not like this. Not in some dirty gutter on the side of the road. ' … You saved me, Jay." Mouse smiled fondly up at Jay.

A smile spread across Jay's face. Feeling his heart fill near to bursting with how much he cared for Mouse. He leaned over Mouse, careful not to touch his injured abdomen.

"I'm a pretty crappy guardian angel."

Their lips met, each of them smiling into the feverish kiss. Mouse pushed Jay away from him, breaking the kiss.

"You need to stop that. At least, for the next month," he looked sternly at Jay, a smile playing on his lips. "You're causing _problems."_

The other man smiled impishly, a sparkle growing in his eyes. He leaned over Mouse's body once again, "Stop what? Certainly not _this_?"

He pressed his lips against Mouse's for an infinitely long minute. He pulled away, laughing at the screwed up expression on Mouse's face as he pretended to be angry.

"I take it back - everything I just said. I don't love you anymore. I hate you."

Jay giggled sweetly, using his left hand to mess up the other man's hair. A sheen of sweat spread across Mouse's forehead as he struggled to move over on the sofa. There was just enough space between him and the back rest of the sofa for Jay.

"Come here," he said, patting the space beside him.

"I don't want to hurt you."

"Don't worry. You won't."

Jay changed his position slowly. Turning to his side and squeezing his body into the small space, careful not to touch the wound. The moment that their bodies were pressed close together he could feel his entire self begin to melt. He muzzled his face into Mouse's neck, kissing him lightly along his jawline. Their fingers finding each other and intertwining.

The world outside could have been burning to the ground; may as well have not existed for how little they cared.

They lived in a cocoon, peace and serenity enveloping them. The moment so perfect, they could have lived in it everyday and still been content. So perfect, it felt unreal.

"I love you," they whispered to each other at exactly te same time. The laughter escaping from them was subdued, not wanting to destroy the moment. They held each other closer, closer still, pleasure pulsing through their veined.

"Don't go, Jay. Ever."

"I won't."


End file.
